Monday, January 4, 2010

Part 2

Aha, I am back. Whoo, let me catch my breath. Amy Grant, if you ever read this, I just want to say, never cook with three kids in the kitchen ever again! Little Emily keeps trying to play with knifes and Bobby likes the Garbage disposal! At least Susan is a good little girl, when you give her pots to play drums on.

Any ways, Part two of Knife wielding. So, before you start cutting anything, always make sure that it has a flat side to set against the cutting board. If you are chopping a potato, your first slice should cut off a small section of one side so it will rest evenly on the board and wont role away. That is one of the main reasons people cut themselves. People always like to play tag with their food. TRUST ME IT IS NOT SAFE OR FUN!!!!! Doctors love tag, and so do blood hounds. No, not that dog in your back yard, blood hounds are sprites for doctors. Nasty little buggers, almost as bad as Drones, but ten times creepier.

Anyways, before I went off on that little tangent, I was talking about the main reasons people cut themselves with knifes. Well, one of them is playing tag, but the other is people stick their fingers in the way of the knife. No fun. To keep yourself from cutting fingers off, take the hand that is holding the potato and shape it into a "C." Kinda like your holding a glass of water. Now, with your hand still shaped like a "C," place your hand on top of the potato like it is standing on a rock. Your thumb should know be far away from the blade of the knife.

"But," you say "my front fingers can still be cut by the knife." Yes, this is true, if you use your knife like a mallet. If cutting anything other than bread or meat, a part of the knife should always be touching the cutting board. I personally prefer people keep the tip of the knife on the board so that it doesn't decide to take a walk.

Take a quick look at your "C" hand, you will notice that your middle finger, the one you make rude gestures with, has currently created what looks like a wall. What you should now do is lean your knife up against that wall so they just kiss each other. As you cut, your hand should move with the knife so that you will always know where each one is by touch. Some day you might even get good enough to chop onions with your eye closed, though I would not suggest it.

Well, I had better go before Jordan Durr tries to make s'mores in the kitchen.
Ta ta!

The Kitchen Sprite

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Don't Slice Those Fingers!!!!

Hello again!!!!
Its so wonderful, being able to communicate!!!! Ah, I love it!

So, I decided that before we start actual work I should tell you about something else. How not to slice your fingers off!!!!! I've seen it time and time again, cooks and professional chef's will be dicing a potato and oops! There goes a thumb! So many chef's cook with out fingers, or with stumps, its amazing!

First thing everyone needs to do is run into the kitchen and grab the knifes you use the most. Make sure you grab them by the handle, you don't want to cut your hand. But, anyways, are these knifes sharp? Every one of the knifes you use should be sharp enough to cut an apple like butter. Oh, man, yours are really dull! You should really get those sharpened. The sharper the blade, the less likely you are to cut yourself. Why, you ask. Well, that is because dull knifes hurt the hands of Kitchen sprites, so we are unable to hold on to/guide the knife, which makes it harder on you to cut things.

Well, now that you have good sharp knifes, its time you knew which ones should be used for what. All you really have to know, is you use the big ones for chopping, cutting, and dicing. The serrated edge, the one with the teeth, is used for cutting breads. And those little baby knifes are used for decorative cuts, not for actually slicing things.

Wow wow wow wow wow. I am getting so ahead of myself. No, stop, put that knife down! Just because you know what you can cut doesn't mean you should!!!! Not yet anyways!!!! First you have to know how to hold a knife!!!! Ok, so first, you shouldn't hold a knife by its handle. I know that sounds silly, but your wrist should rest against the handle so that the knife stays in one direction and doesn't wiggle around. Now, your thumb and forefinger, if you still have them, should firmly grasp either side of the knife, right above the handle. None of your fingers should be under the blade, that is one of the reasons your fingers end up on the floor instead of on your hand. You could probably find pictures on the international network web thingy. THE INTERNET!!! That's the silly things name.

Darn it, the silly drones have found me. I'll finish this up tomorrow. Good luck! Don't try cutting anything till I get back!!!

The Kitchen Sprite

Friday, January 1, 2010

The Beginning

Hi world!!!! I am back!!!!!!

Sorry it took me so long to start. I had to go into hiding for a little while, the drones didn't take too well to my first post. But poo to you Drone buggies, I am back, and will stay back, until every home in the world is saved from scary cooks in the kitchen!!!!

Today we are starting with something simple, something that will help you with almost any recipe!!!! Well, unless that recipe was written in a different language. I failed most of my Human Language courses. But anyways, Here are liquid measurement conversions. They should help a bit.

Abbreviations I will be using:
t = teaspoon
T = Tablespoon
C = Cup
Pnt. = Pint
Qt. = Quart
Gal. = Gallon
fl. oz. = fluid ounces
lb. or lbs. = pounds

Liquid Measurement Conversions

3t = 1T 1T = 1/2 fl. oz.
4T = 1/4 C 1/4 C = 2 fl. oz.
(4) 1/4 C = 1 C 1 C = 8 fl. oz.
2 C = 1 Pnt. 1 Pnt. = 16 fl. oz. = 1 lb.
2 Pnt. = 1 Qt. 1 Qt. = 32 fl. oz. = 2 lbs.
4 Qt. = 1 Gal. 1 Gal. = 128 fl. oz. = 8 lbs

One more thing that will help you around the kitchen. "A pint is a pound the world around in liquid, eggs, and oil." That is, 16 fl. oz. of any liquid ingredient, eggs, or oils, will always be one pound of that ingredient, as well as one pint of that ingredient. When I found that out, I had one of those moments. Some where between a light bulb and "blowing of the mind." I had a click.

Oh before I forget. There are two different types of measuring cups. Measuring cups for dry ingredients and those for wet ones. Tablespoons and teaspoons work for both wet and dry but measuring cups are a whole different story!!! Dry measuring cups are those little plastic or metal ones that have separate 1/4 cup, 1/2 cup, 1/3 cup and 1 cup measuring cups. Measuring cups for wet ingredients are those little glass things with the cool handle that have live lines on the side and measure cups and fluid ounces. You can measure wet ingredients in the dry cups, though I really wouldn't suggest it, but never ever ever measure dry ingredients in the wet measuring glass.

Oh gosh, Sally Jankins is trying to peal potatoes again. Got to run!!!

The Kitchen Sprite

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Hi

Hello world!!!!

Wow, this is weird. I am actually communicating with humans!!!!! No one has ever really been able to hear my voice before..... I hope it's not to squeaky.

Well, I am the Kitchen Sprite. I live in your kitchen cupboards and try to help you along. Now don't start the whole "Why didn't you help when.." routine. I did try to help, you just didn't pay attention. But back to what I came here to say, I am breaking the rules of Sprite hood to help you! Too long have I had to watch some one cut themselves because they weren't holding a knife correctly, too long have I tried to help you with your recipes only to have you mess them up any ways. I have taken over this computer thing, this blog, and will now use it for my own intents and purposes! I WILL HELP YOU COOK OR DIE TRYING!!! Well, actually, thats not too far from the truth. If the Drones catch me communicating with you......... well, lets just say you would be back to cutting off your fingers and mixing up recipes.

Till next "Blog"

The Kitchen Sprite

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Day I Lost the Clock.

Ok, as I have already informed some of you MY MONDAY WAS CRAZY!!!! Seriously, I tried to write about it three time in my normal style and it was so long, complicated and CRAZY that I (A) did not ever finish writing it and (B) it was so crazy that I got a headache just reading what I had written. So this is my shorter blip of the day, and no, it will not be in my normal manner of writing that you have read in the last two blogs.

My crazy day started and some insane hour of the morning when I started having a seriously crazy dream in which Voldemort and Gordon Ramsey were hiding from the Nazi's and decided to go hide in an Abbey. Now this Abbey was set up exactly like my Teen Camp, ten sets of bunk beds per room and everything. As it all turns out, I was the person who found them and some how I came to the conclusion that the Nazi's would take too long to reach the Abbey and the only way that I could keep Voldemort and Ramsey there was to shoot them. As I raised the gun and aimed it at their heads, I woke up. When I woke up I realized my arms were above my head and my right hand was positioned like a loose finger gun. Now, I never sleep with my arms above my head, they are normally curled up next to or squished underneath me. All of this should have alerted me to the fact that the day was going to be weird.

Luckily I got back to sleep but between that time and the time I was actually suppose to wake up, I actually woke up three times. Once when mom left to get transmission fluid for the Camry, once when she came back and once when the next door neighbor came by to return my dog to us since she had tried to go to work with him. I would have paid to have seen his face when he realized that my big, way too happy boxer dog was trying to climb into his car with him. It would have been priceless!

After all of this, mom came to "wake me up" about ten so that I could get to Physical Therapy on time. Come to find out, I wasn't suppose to be at P.T. (Physical Therapy) and 10:30 like I had thought, but actually at 10 a.m. Which, as you all remember, was about the time I woke up. Of course, when you find this out, your all 'know big deal, my mistake, lets reschedule this for 3:30,' and I did.

When I had left P.T. all thirty seconds later, I hopped in my car and drove off to music practice which had been scheduled to be at 11. As I drove in that direction the little cogs in my brain started to turn and I decided "Ya know what, my driving school is on the way to voice lessons. My brother has the first half of the lesson which puts mine at 11:30. So I have an hour. I can easily stop in at the driving school and talked to my teacher for a few minutes." Which was actually a very smart choice.

I sat and talked to my driving teacher for several minutes and then left to go to music practice. I realized I would be early but, that's alright, better early than late. Turns out I was really early! Several hours early in fact. I drove up to music practice just as mom and my brother were walking out. Our lessons weren't suppose to be at 11 a.m. but 1 p.m.

Ya starting to see where this is going? Yeah. Well, in my free time between eleven and one, I kept cleaning my room. You have no idea how dirty a room is when it hasn't had anything in it, at all, for two or so months. Seriously, its a mess.

Well, at one I went to voice and all went well. I picked out an audition song and worked on it. This is the third audition song I have chosen, but I think this one is for sure. Especially since auditions are a month away. Seriously?! Aw man, I need to get working on that.

Anyways, I left voice and headed home. It was 11:30, about, and I had no where to be until 3:30. More time to clean my room. Yeah!!! Not really, but I still pretend.

Cleaning the room was going well, I had half a box gone through and my room was messier then when it started. It seemed like like was back on track! Finally, the day had been weird enough. But I was wrong. Just as I reach the conclusion that my life was back on track, I checked my phone to see what time it was, pretty normal thing right? Wrong. My phone was dead! The only time my cell phone is dead is right in the middle of a long car trip, which I was not on. 'Well, this is no big deal,' I thought to myself, using my very in control, senior in high school sort of mind set voice 'I will just run down stairs and check the time.' Which I did. 3:23. Whoops! I have to go.

Now, if you will remember, at the beginning of this I mentioned my mom leaving to get transmission fluid for the Camry. The Camry is 'my car' sort of. Its half dead. Its like an old dog that you just can't get rid of or put to sleep. Man would I like to put the Camry to sleep! It tries to die so many times, but we keep it and fix it and it keeps going along. The transmission fluid was another "fix" for the Camry, since it leaks in odd places like the transmission, which causes my dear old car to decide it wants to go into neutral at random points, like when you are driving along the free way. Here I was, a girl with a brand new license, with out a cell phone, with a car that doesn't want to work, a place she had to be at in seven minutes and no one else at home. Its like a scene from a horror film.

Now the drive to P.T. is not long, about five to seven minutes depending on the lights. But on Monday I learned that it is just long enough for a 16 year old car to decide it wants to go in to neutral, not once, BUT TWICE!!!!! It was also just long enough for this girl to realize that her $35 co-pay check was sitting with her mom, not written, where ever her mom may be.

Thankfully the amazing mom showed up during P.T. and payed for everything and also escorted the young lady and her dying car to the Tom to Camry Miracle Worker who put another full bottle of Fluid in the car and said "Next time the car wont shift, you can shoot it," which brought to every one.

As you can all imagine, I went to sleep very happily that night after many prayers that Tuesday would not be like Monday and that a day like Monday would never happen to anyone ever again.

Now, the author must return to her room and try to finish cleaning it while listening to "Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog" and its amazing music, which I might add has a very cute main character who has an amazing singing voice. Tune in next time for "The World on Paper" or as I like to call it "My Crazy Life."

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

A Taste of My Future

Last night I had the privilege of dining at one of the schools I hope to join once I graduate high school.

Oregon Culinary Institute is a relatively new school in the Portland area but seems to be doing just as well or maybe even better as Western Culinary Institute which has been in the area much longer. Though the kitchens were small, the taste of the food was larger than life.

The student's restaurant was as clean and sophisticated as many normal restaurants in the area. With the menu changing every four weeks, fresh ingredients are always used and nothing is out of season.

First to taste is the wonderful service that the students offer. Working the front of house last night, was a young man named Chris who was never without a smile and was overall, a great person. He made me feel as if I, and any one else who walked through the door, belonged there.

Second to taste was a basket overflowing with an assortment of freshly baked bread and the creamiest most delicious butter to go on top. The decadence of the bread was so refreshing and so delicious I could have eaten it all night.

Next were the starters. I had a delicious Spring Minestrone Soup which was not exactly what I expected. Though the flavors were good and clean, the taste reminded me more of of a French Onion Soup than a Minestrone. Both are delicious and I am not knocking the dish but the name was misleading.

My dad ordered the Minted Fava Bean Puree which was devine. Only problem was, I didnt get time enough to savor it, Dad would only let me have one bite, he claimed the rest for himself. Wasnt that selfish of him?

When our starters were finished, course two came out like clockwork. This time dad and I ordered the same dish, a refreshing Smoke Salmon "Blini" Salad. Served on what seemed to be an herb crepe, the dish was piled high with baby spinich, pickled red onions and the best Salmon I have tasted in a while. Kudos to you OCI, you made me fall in love with fish all over agian.

Then came out the Entrees. The dish I ordered was a Braised Lamb Gnocchi with Baby Artichokes, Olives, and Cheese. Though the lamb was delicious and it went well with the artichoke and olives, I found the cheese quite over powering. You couldn't taste anything else if you even had a tiny bit of cheese on your fork. Every thing else in the dish was devine, I just wish they had left the cheese out, or put a whole lot less of it in the dish.

My dad got the Pan-Seared Halibut Cheeks, and no they were not the actual cheeks. The bite I had of his dish was devine. Kudos to you agian OCI, another peice of fish that I loved.

And now everyones favorite meal of the day, Dessert! Like any other girl, the minute I saw chocolate and heard it was good, I ordered. The OCI Chocolate Dream Torte was rich and creamy and I do dream about it. I would suggest that if you order this dessert, order a glass of milk to go along.

Once again, Dad and I ordered something different. The Creme Brulee that he ordered was decedent and rich, but not so rich that you needed to wash it down with something.

Oregon Culinary Institute is open every day that school is in (including during the summer). The four course dinner is only 18 dollars which is an astounding price for a meal that fills you up for a day and a half. Also, the lunch menu is just as filling and delicious for only 12 dollars.

I would suggest this restaraunt to anyone and everyone as well as the school and will definatly be going back to eat if not for school.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Though it was the 4th of July, there was no celebrating at 13 Palisade Drive. New wood floors had just been put in the children's bedroom and the stench on the stain filled the entire house. Escape would be futile since outside awaited sweltering 97 degree heat and work. Now converted into a makeshift bedroom, the entertainment room had Mr. Smith Goes to Washington blaring over the sound system as the youngest child ate his lunch as mother cleaned the tidy house. Obviously, today was not a normal 4th of July in any respects. Since the "Stock Market Crash of 2009" the city had been trying to cut back on costs in any way possible including canceling the local Indepencance Day Celebrations. It had been tradition for this family to leave early in the morning and spend their day among the festivities along the river but since there would be no festivites, the family was forced to stay in their pungent home and come up with some new tradition.

The sound of several fireworks penitrated the walls of house and sent the resident dog Sadie into what seemed to be a game of hide and go seak. Every time a firework sounded, Sadie would be "found" and would have to find a new hiding place. Currently, the large dog was wiggling around trying to get the rest of her body under one of the cots the children had been sleeping on as the middle child tried to keep up with her beloved dog. This game would continue through out the day and on late into the night.

Not noticing the upheaval around him, The father stalked around the house muttering to himself about what his next big project would be as the oldest child, his college aged daughter, walked behind him and would shoot down some of his better plans by saying things like "I really dont think zebra print stain would look good on the piano."

Maybe the day would eventually hold some celebration, some spark of joy and fun. But for now..... Well, you get the picture.