Part 2

Aha, I am back. Whoo, let me catch my breath. Amy Grant, if you ever read this, I just want to say, never cook with three kids in the kitchen ever again! Little Emily keeps trying to play with knifes and Bobby likes the Garbage disposal! At least Susan is a good little girl, when you give her pots to play drums on.

Any ways, Part two of Knife wielding. So, before you start cutting anything, always make sure that it has a flat side to set against the cutting board. If you are chopping a potato, your first slice should cut off a small section of one side so it will rest evenly on the board and wont role away. That is one of the main reasons people cut themselves. People always like to play tag with their food. TRUST ME IT IS NOT SAFE OR FUN!!!!! Doctors love tag, and so do blood hounds. No, not that dog in your back yard, blood hounds are sprites for doctors. Nasty little buggers, almost as bad as Drones, but ten times creepier.

Anyways, before I went off on that little tangent, I was talking about the main reasons people cut themselves with knifes. Well, one of them is playing tag, but the other is people stick their fingers in the way of the knife. No fun. To keep yourself from cutting fingers off, take the hand that is holding the potato and shape it into a "C." Kinda like your holding a glass of water. Now, with your hand still shaped like a "C," place your hand on top of the potato like it is standing on a rock. Your thumb should know be far away from the blade of the knife.

"But," you say "my front fingers can still be cut by the knife." Yes, this is true, if you use your knife like a mallet. If cutting anything other than bread or meat, a part of the knife should always be touching the cutting board. I personally prefer people keep the tip of the knife on the board so that it doesn't decide to take a walk.

Take a quick look at your "C" hand, you will notice that your middle finger, the one you make rude gestures with, has currently created what looks like a wall. What you should now do is lean your knife up against that wall so they just kiss each other. As you cut, your hand should move with the knife so that you will always know where each one is by touch. Some day you might even get good enough to chop onions with your eye closed, though I would not suggest it.

Well, I had better go before Jordan Durr tries to make s'mores in the kitchen.
Ta ta!

The Kitchen Sprite

Don't Slice Those Fingers!!!!

Hello again!!!!
Its so wonderful, being able to communicate!!!! Ah, I love it!

So, I decided that before we start actual work I should tell you about something else. How not to slice your fingers off!!!!! I've seen it time and time again, cooks and professional chef's will be dicing a potato and oops! There goes a thumb! So many chef's cook with out fingers, or with stumps, its amazing!

First thing everyone needs to do is run into the kitchen and grab the knifes you use the most. Make sure you grab them by the handle, you don't want to cut your hand. But, anyways, are these knifes sharp? Every one of the knifes you use should be sharp enough to cut an apple like butter. Oh, man, yours are really dull! You should really get those sharpened. The sharper the blade, the less likely you are to cut yourself. Why, you ask. Well, that is because dull knifes hurt the hands of Kitchen sprites, so we are unable to hold on to/guide the knife, which makes it harder on you to cut things.

Well, now that you have good sharp knifes, its time you knew which ones should be used for what. All you really have to know, is you use the big ones for chopping, cutting, and dicing. The serrated edge, the one with the teeth, is used for cutting breads. And those little baby knifes are used for decorative cuts, not for actually slicing things.

Wow wow wow wow wow. I am getting so ahead of myself. No, stop, put that knife down! Just because you know what you can cut doesn't mean you should!!!! Not yet anyways!!!! First you have to know how to hold a knife!!!! Ok, so first, you shouldn't hold a knife by its handle. I know that sounds silly, but your wrist should rest against the handle so that the knife stays in one direction and doesn't wiggle around. Now, your thumb and forefinger, if you still have them, should firmly grasp either side of the knife, right above the handle. None of your fingers should be under the blade, that is one of the reasons your fingers end up on the floor instead of on your hand. You could probably find pictures on the international network web thingy. THE INTERNET!!! That's the silly things name.

Darn it, the silly drones have found me. I'll finish this up tomorrow. Good luck! Don't try cutting anything till I get back!!!

The Kitchen Sprite

The Beginning

Hi world!!!! I am back!!!!!!

Sorry it took me so long to start. I had to go into hiding for a little while, the drones didn't take too well to my first post. But poo to you Drone buggies, I am back, and will stay back, until every home in the world is saved from scary cooks in the kitchen!!!!

Today we are starting with something simple, something that will help you with almost any recipe!!!! Well, unless that recipe was written in a different language. I failed most of my Human Language courses. But anyways, Here are liquid measurement conversions. They should help a bit.

Abbreviations I will be using:
t = teaspoon
T = Tablespoon
C = Cup
Pnt. = Pint
Qt. = Quart
Gal. = Gallon
fl. oz. = fluid ounces
lb. or lbs. = pounds

Liquid Measurement Conversions

3t = 1T 1T = 1/2 fl. oz.
4T = 1/4 C 1/4 C = 2 fl. oz.
(4) 1/4 C = 1 C 1 C = 8 fl. oz.
2 C = 1 Pnt. 1 Pnt. = 16 fl. oz. = 1 lb.
2 Pnt. = 1 Qt. 1 Qt. = 32 fl. oz. = 2 lbs.
4 Qt. = 1 Gal. 1 Gal. = 128 fl. oz. = 8 lbs

One more thing that will help you around the kitchen. "A pint is a pound the world around in liquid, eggs, and oil." That is, 16 fl. oz. of any liquid ingredient, eggs, or oils, will always be one pound of that ingredient, as well as one pint of that ingredient. When I found that out, I had one of those moments. Some where between a light bulb and "blowing of the mind." I had a click.

Oh before I forget. There are two different types of measuring cups. Measuring cups for dry ingredients and those for wet ones. Tablespoons and teaspoons work for both wet and dry but measuring cups are a whole different story!!! Dry measuring cups are those little plastic or metal ones that have separate 1/4 cup, 1/2 cup, 1/3 cup and 1 cup measuring cups. Measuring cups for wet ingredients are those little glass things with the cool handle that have live lines on the side and measure cups and fluid ounces. You can measure wet ingredients in the dry cups, though I really wouldn't suggest it, but never ever ever measure dry ingredients in the wet measuring glass.

Oh gosh, Sally Jankins is trying to peal potatoes again. Got to run!!!

The Kitchen Sprite